I work in New York City. It's full of nutters. Go figure.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Tuesday September 21st

Yesterday was a washout. My heart was full of fear and dread and Britney Spears.

This morning's statistics:

Number of bachelorettes with sunglasses perched on top of their heads: 53

Number of bachelorettes without sunglasses perched on top of their heads: 13

Number of businessmen in spongy shoes clenching their hands compulsively: 1

Number of homeless people singing: 1

Number of homeless people not singing, just hanging out looking miserable: 3

Number of small women with large arses who shouldn't really wear stripey blazers and jeans too tight for them: 2

Number of people smiling: 1 (no, it wasn't me)

Number of people looking miserable/bored/indifferent/angry/preoccupied: 30,000

Number of men in khaki trousers with light blue button down shirts: 73,486

Number of building security guards who have known me for months and still refuse to smile at me ever: 1

Number of women braying loudly and uninterestingly about their ratdogs in the elevator: 5




3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

what is it with that blue shirt / khaki pant phenomenon?? it's unsettling...

9:35 AM

 
Blogger alizinha said...

Why? Because it's easy. And when it comes to boring, mainstream, hetero-type guys, they want their fashion choices to be easy.

6:32 AM

 
Blogger L'Emmerdeur said...

Contract:

You receive 1 (one) lifetime supply of Wall Street job, Wealth and Willing Bachelorettes.

You owe 1 (one) soul, payable upon completion of said lifetime.

Paragraph 48, Subclause II.: You must always wear khaki pants and blue buttondown shirts to your Wall Street job. Always.

Read your contracts, people!

8:36 PM

 

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