I work in New York City. It's full of nutters. Go figure.

Friday, September 17, 2004

Friday September 17th.

When I arrived at work today I had an email from a friend. She'd forwarded me a message from this person who clearly doesn't like me at all.

Here's what he says about me in an email to lots of people:

I rarely go out of my way to talk about a web site I don't like, but
this one bugs me in particular. I found the link on
www.themorningnews.org – a site I like. It's here:


BUT DON'T YOU DARE CLICK ON IT!! I guess it bothers me primarily
because it feels like many of the "CONS" of personal web writing have
been kind of test-marketed and researched and creative briefed to
produce this automatic site. It's got:

- stories of new york city (as someone who hates tremble once said:
"Only in New York!!")
- a ritualistic account of someone's daily commute (a hook! it's daily!
it's never been done quite so self-consciously! no need for a press
- a name and url that magically and literally dovetail with said
content hook (guess what my site's about!)
- intelligently written, but done so in a tone that is more
self-conscious than anything i've seen in a long time, as the writer
bears witness to the world's Nutty and Shitty and Rude and Beautiful
Stuff™ without action but with great reserved judgment. one of my
least favorite things is the writer-as-hero technique – and i'm not
totally immune to it myself – where the writer talks about all of the
wonderfully witty things he or she would have said to Cunty Person A,
and then at the end sort of half-admitting he or she never said any of
those things but, instead, said something sort of polite and mousey.
to the public world, a boring incident. but to the reader – a
brilliant bit of Oscar Wildean rebuke!!! (totally imagined)
- zero tits

The only thing it's missing is one of those "My Current Mood Is.."
buttons and a photograph of the author on a rooftop, with a view of a
water tower in the background."

Oh dear. Whatever shall I do?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck him up the arse with a chainsaw.

7:20 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kill yourself. It's the only answer.

7:25 AM

Blogger euro said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:32 AM

Blogger euro said...

I'd try and sleep with him to see if he'd be nicer to me, but he would probably find me extremely unattractive, as well as unfunny and cliched.

Perhaps death is the solution. Or maybe just a severe self-maiming, or something.

7:33 AM

Blogger bronx expat said...

to start with, you could add a 'current mood' button

7:44 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. current mood button AND photo of you on a rooftop, please!

that dude needs to piss off...

7:53 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh yeah a current mood button would RAWK! Photo in Jersey with a water cooler would be better methinks.

Hey he's got a gig in NY soon. You know his thing is called "How to kick people" Maybe we should go and offer some constructive criticism?

You are a stupidwhoredykebitch, obvs.


8:04 AM

Blogger euro said...

I'm also fat and I can't get laid and I should fuck off back where I came from. Why do they always forget that?

8:14 AM

Blogger Sister Sunshine said...

He didn't *have* to put the full url of your site in his diatribe... maybe subconsciously he actually admires you?

8:17 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should cut both your hands off so you are no longer able to type this kind of incredibly unfunny offensive disgusting wrong cliched fat unattractive pile of shit.

8:19 AM

Blogger euro said...

He is a comic genius, from what I understand. I find it unlike he could ever admire me. I'm not funny, you see.

8:20 AM

Blogger euro said...

And my current mood is somewhat neutral, if anyone is interested.

8:23 AM

Blogger Uch said...

"writer-as-hero" technique??? uh, has this pale imitation of Joe Piscopo actually read this site? me thinks he's secretly pissed way the fuck off that he didn't think of it first.

8:27 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should switch yourself off. Or die. Or something.

8:37 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're not as funny as you used to be. I'm never coming here again.

8:39 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've found rude things written about me too. It is very easy for people to say, 'get over it...' but yes things like this do hurt feelings. I got over it though. I'll tell you how...CONSIDER THE SOURCE. Some people's lives are so crappy that they feel they have to drag other people down to feel good about themselves. That's something to pity now, isn't it? Keep on doing the things you do, don't give that guy extra exposure, and I'd delete the post where you gave him attention.
Don't let the turkeys get you down. Hugs!

8:54 AM

Blogger euro said...

I like to embrace my haters. I'm kinky.

9:03 AM

Blogger euro said...

My current mood is still neutral, by the way.

9:23 AM

Blogger la depressionada said...

I really wish you had posted some kind of warning with the link to his site. I really didn't need that first thing in the morning.

10:12 AM

Blogger euro said...


My current mood is "slightly annoyed", as my motherfuckingbastard Mac won't let me buy a flight to England on BA.com. Fucking piece of shit bastard fuckwank from hell shit fuck.


I'm almost back to neutral now, as I have got over not being able to book my flight today. It's not the end of the world, after all.

10:22 AM

Blogger me said...

Yeah you need a mood button. One that prefaces everything with cunting.

That would RAWK, you stupiddykewhorebitch.


10:26 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

u r stupiddykebitchwhore

fuck of back wear u came frome.

12:05 PM

Blogger wild honey said...

oh, he's just jealous. or maybe he's your PR person?

12:11 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I shall be asking my good friend Sir Tim Berners-Lee to switch you off immediately. It's the only language filth like you understand, you hideously unfunny hag.

12:23 PM

Blogger euro said...

Love your site. Very interesting.

Cum here for good fucky-fucky!


12:26 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


Service journalism - in

Fucky fucky - out

12:28 PM

Blogger euro said...

Fucky-fucky off with your service journalism.

12:29 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You must be PUNISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No cheese for you.

12:29 PM

Blogger euro said...

Are you moving my cheese?

12:31 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, because you keep spilling it.

As always.

12:35 PM

Blogger Sarah said...

Yes, yes, yes--not only should you put up "current moods" but you should have a special picture icon to go with all of your posts, and you should also write slash-fiction involving hated blogging types.

Eurotrash--the LJ version.

12:46 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

or, as Robin Williams once suggested:
"Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck."

AND I'm ticked that I didn't think of this first, but I'll drop by M-F to make sure you're not pissing this good idea away.


7:35 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You could mention the ol' "passive-agressive endorsement" hack he flogs here, the "look but don't look" thing. I fucking hate that. Otherwise, I don't see a problem here. Why do you continue to take breath?


2:19 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

For one thing, that tremble guy is fucking hilarious. Just checked out his site. For another, I hate to be the one to break it tou you, but I think you're exactly his type:



2:28 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

He feels struck. He probably wears Khaki and too much gel and sunglasses to top it off ;)

8:37 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where did you find it? Interesting read »

8:42 PM


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